You may first need to get a clear understanding of why women with traits of borderline personality disorder act the way they do. One of the reasons so many men stay and keep trying to fix what they know is a broken relationship is that it often takes a while for them to finally shake the feeling that the woman they were in love with could still be somewhere inside of the person who has turned against them. One more important aspect of recovery from a relationship with a women with traits of borderline personality disorder can be understanding why it happened to you. Because the behaviors of women with only a few traits of borderline personality disorder within a relationship are often the same as those who have the actual disorder, you may have suffered in a very similar way. The behavior of idealizing and then devaluing a relationship partner does not necessarily mean that your ex has this personality disorder.
But at some point you went on line just in case there was anyone else who had been through the same kind of emotional war zone. Whether it happened slowly or it was an overnight transformation, you probably eventually realized that the woman who was once in love with you had turned against you, and unless you fixed the problem, you were going to lose what you may have felt was the most important relationship of your life. The psychological damage that women who idealize and then devalue in relationships can inflict on their partners can be very difficult to heal from. Borderline personality disorder is actually a very serious and complex condition that can only be diagnosed by a mental health professional. At that point you may have seen words on your computer screen that described in uncanny detail every negative behavior your ex engaged in after her Dr. In Part 2 of this blog series Women With Traits of BPD-Why Men Stay we will be looking at why men who give can often get taken advantage of by women with traits of borderline personality disorder. Qualifying For The Diagnosis There may have been an eye-opening wake-up moment of realizing that you finally had an explanation that made sense out of all of the confusing and painful behavior you experienced from your ex. In fact, you may have found that the more you talked about her new negative behaviors, the more she turned around and accused you of the very same behaviors. The environment that your ex created in your relationship probably caused you to walk through a psychological minefield on a daily basis. You may first need to get a clear understanding of why women with traits of borderline personality disorder act the way they do. When Your Dream Relationship Turns Into Your Worst Nightmare Many men have had the experience of entering what they thought was their dream relationship only to find out months down the road that their dream had turned into a nightmare. You also might not have known that she chose to only show you the qualities she believed you would like and may have hidden the qualities she feared would cause you to reject her. But just having character traits does not mean she necessarily has the disorder itself. Because there are very few resources available for men who have experienced this type of psychological stress, many men suffer in silence taking years to heal from these emotional battle wounds. The bond that you formed with her may have been the strongest you have ever felt for another human being, and you may have very quickly been convinced that this was the person you wanted to spend the rest of your life with. After all, her behaviors were being spelled out right in front of you on a borderline personality disorder website. You may have at first thought you must be the only one taken down by this crazy-making cycle of false accusations and endless circular arguments. Each of the crazy-making behaviors that you have experienced does have an explanation, and finding out why she acted the way she did can help you sort out the confusion. You may also have read that this type of personality transformation is one of the telltale signs of borderline personality disorder. The answer was clear, that your ex must have borderline personality disorder. You may at first have tried to ask her about her personality change only to hear from her that it was you who she thought had changed overnight. If you are like most men, your Internet searches landed you in the middle of a discussion about borderline personality disorder. Despite everything you did, chances are you were forced to come to the conclusion that although you had no idea what could have caused this transformation, you were not going to be able to resolve it. The truth is, we all possess one or even a few character traits of various personality disorders. But what you might not have known is that the woman you were dating probably started out in the relationship by idealizing you.
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